In 13 cases, the couples eventually agreed that they would obtain an abortion. Seven of 

these were first pregnancies and six were second, third, or fourth pregnancies. If family building 

is the main reason to give birth, the reasons for having an abortion suggest the factors that hinder 

the family building process. Multiple reasons to delay family building, some of which overlap 

with the reasons to space children, will be discussed later in the chapter. Regardless of whether 

the couple decided to have an abortion or to give birth, it was generally the boyfriend's 

responsibility to pay for the medical costs incurred. 

5.2.1  Deciding to Give Birth to a First Child or to Terminate the Pregnancy 

Once the participants knew they were pregnant, the next step involved telling their 

significant others about their condition. One 15 year old participant said that her mother urged 

her to tell her boyfriend about the pregnancy  immediately  or, she said,  he might deny it was 

his.  Another participant explained why a girl often goes to the boyfriend immediately with the 

news.  

There are some men that deny responsibility or take you for a ride when the pregnancy is 

advanced. I wanted him to be straight with me and asked him whether we should abort it 

or not. [Zoe] 

According to the girls' reports, a little less than half the time, the boyfriend asked the girl 

what she wanted to do and other times the boy decided and the girl went along. Sometimes, 

agreement was reached after extended discussions during which one eventually convinced the 

other. In these discussions, the main issue was earning power. One girl described the negotiation 

with her boyfriend as follows: 

He said I should not have an abortion. I had wanted to have an abortion and then, after I 

finished the work, have a baby, but he said I should leave it. . . He brought drinks and 

claimed responsibility. [Grace] 

One of the participants who had a religious orientation described more of a struggle in 

deciding to terminate a pregnancy. 

So, when he came and I told him, he said he had heard and that it was two months, but he 

would not let it get to three months, that we would have an abortion. I told him Ei, I can't 

abort it and that I've never had and abortion before, and my mother says since she 

became mature she has also never had an abortion, so I should never do that. So I'll give 

birth and that God will show that way, and that if I give birth we'll be able to feed the 

child. Then he was patient and he gave me money and he coerced me for a long time 

before I went. [Joy] 

Sometimes the decision to keep the child derived from other factors related to the history 

of the relationship. For example, in one case the girl had terminated her first pregnancy by the 

boy; however, when she got pregnant the second time, they decided to give birth. The participant 

explained the decision as follows: 

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