should forget about that. She told me men would trick me, but if I gave myself to any man, 

he would leave you. She said she wanted me to complete my schooling and not stop 

midway, so I should not get involved with any man and get pregnant; if I would be friends 

with him I should not have sex with him. So I also took good care of myself and did not 

allow him to sleep with me. I had my ways of keeping him away. He took care of me when 

I was in school, he bought pamphlets for me, exam fees. He used to help me out. [Joy] 

According to the girls' combined reports, the most common method of supervision by 

parents or guardians was to routinely keep the girls near home and occupied after school until 

bedtime with household chores, eating, and schoolwork. For example, Charity noted, 

Especially when I was in school, I was warned to stay away from boys. We were mostly 

indoors anyway after school. I'll clean the house and eat, then my father's wife would 

teach me at home. After that we'll all sleep. [Charity] 

Some parents monitored their daughters to prevent them from having extended contact 

with boys after school and would separate them when they observed friendships developing. For 

example, Iris said that, since her first menstruation, her mother's reaction was the following:  

[She] discouraged me from having male friends around my area where I lived. She 

always complained whenever she saw me talking with men she didn't really know. 

Sometimes she even sends me away from the men. [Iris] 

One girl said she was sent to a foster parent because her mother did not like a girl she had 

befriended. A minority of the girls reported occasional physical abuse by family members as a 

method to keep them away from boyfriends or other men, including relatives. Opal said she was 

beaten by her brother when she was 14 or 15 years old for staying overnight at the home of her 

boyfriend, a man she eventually had two children with and now considers her husband. 

I had this boy who used to give me lots of gifts during the difficult conditions in my life, 

so I used to go to his house. Sometimes I would stay for about three days [at boyfriend's 

house] before coming home. But my big brother did not like the idea and beat me 

whenever I went to see the boy. Anyway, all the beatings did not deter me from sneaking 

to the boy at night and coming home the following dawn. [Opal] 

Although some girls reported that their parents or other relatives attempted to keep them 

from having sex, most of the girls said that their parents advised them, but did not restrict their 

movements with boys and men during their teens. Advice from parents and friends included 

telling them how to keep from getting pregnant or getting involved too young. In the following 

excerpt, one girl explains her mother's approach: 

Girl: Yes, she told me that when my period is due I should not have sex. If I do and he 

puts his sperm in me, I will conceive.  

Interviewer: That means they are not against you being sexually active, but they want you 

to be careful so as not to get pregnant? 

Girl: Yes. . .  They ask me to stick to one man, so if they see me with someone else they 

warn him to stay away from me. [Karen] 

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